I'm done playing chasey

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Today, I was supposed to have lined up in Perth for the 2013 City To Surf. I had signed up for the half-marathon and was looking forward to it, raising money for Cystic Fibrosis WA. However, a couple of weeks ago, a woman wasn't looking where she was going and walked into me, causing a wrist and forearm injury that is still rather painful. Therefore I was unable to take my place today and I'm feeling rather disappointed about that. Although, having said that, it's not too bad because the weather isn't great today and having only got out of a very serious hospital admission two months ago, I'm still exhausted from that.

Well, that's not the point of today's blog, but I thought I'd make mention of that today. The point of today's blog is about the childhood game, chasey. Most of us around my age who grew up in the 1990's will remember the game well. It's played with a group of people and one person would be "it" and they would have to run around and chase other people, tag them and then that person would be it. Well, I hated that game because whenever I was "it", all the other kids would do is go up stairs and the game would be boring because nothing else would happen. It makes it a very boring, one-way game and nobody would have fun. Eventually, I would learn that it was no fun for me and I would stop playing.

Lately my life feels like I've started playing chasey again, particularly with some friendships. Yes, I understand that we will have those people in our lives who are totally selfish and don't give us anything and that's just the way it goes. However, I feel it's happening a lot to me lately, that people are not giving me back much at all and that I'm exhausting myself trying to care for others. Well, I can't do it anymore. I need two-way relationships in my life. If you want to be a part of my life, make an effort, seriously. I get that sometimes people retreat from others and that when people start struggling it can become draining on other people, but what I don't get is when people start blatantly ignoring me, yet they claim they love me in the same sentence. Too many people are doing that with me lately and I'm not liking it one bit. If you love someone, you wouldn't ignore them. It's really that simple, folks.

I think at the moment I am going through another learning experience with life and I just need to figure out who my real friends are all over again. It's another season of change and I'm just not dealing with it as well as I normally do. I think it's because it feels like it's all happening at once and when I'm this tired at the start, I was never going to be able to deal with all this well. I'm deliberately not going into detail here with all that I'm dealing with because it's just too personal.

Lastly, before I finish, I need to make it public information that I'm done with overly sensitive types. I never was a fan of people like that anyway. You know, those people who, when you say something that has absolutely nothing to do with them as a person, yet they take it out of context and then have the audacity to get upset and abuse you for it and then in the end, you feel like the jerk. Well, I'm not dealing with them anymore simply because they are far too high maintenance in my life and I don't have the strength right now.

Well, that's me done for today and now I'm off to crawl back into bed, away from all the draining humans.