Monday, July 29, 2013
It is 1:08 am as I write this while sipping on a honey and lemon tea, listening to Linkin Park and eating chocolate ice cream and sticky date pudding, baked by yours truly. I went to church this evening for the first time in about a month as my body has been struggling with fatigue and just lack of energy since getting home and I've taken a rather cautious approach to getting back into the swing of things. To a point, I am regretting that a bit as it's meant I've missed out spiritually and emotionally for the sake of my physical health.
That is the entire reason I went to church tonight. I'm still feeling a bit sluggish as I'm recovering from a throat infection, and I probably should have taken another night off, especially considering I've got university tomorrow afternoon. However, I decided I needed to go to church because I've been feeling rather moody the last couple of days. It was a good decision and I don't regret it at all. Tonight Geoff spoke on being offended and how we can take that and either use it as motivation to grow and mature, or we can take it and let it grow into something destructive such as deep bitterness. In the words of Linkin Park and Jay-Z, "Get that dirt off your shoulder."
It's always good going to church, especially when I haven't been able to go much because as I said to my best friend earlier tonight, getting the cd's from Kurt was great while in hospital, but it's just not the same as being there with those that love me, hearing the message and being in God's presence at that moment. That's why I do make an effort to try and be there as often as possible, even sometimes at the expense of my own health the next day. Hopefully this won't be the case tomorrow, which brings me to the reason for the title tonight.
After one year out with serious health issues, a bone infection which could have potentially killed me, and being told I will never be healthy enough to go back, I am going to university tomorrow for another semester. I'm not going back thinking that I am some kind of superhero and doing it full-time, but only doing two subjects. Still, I must be honest right here and admit the last few nights I've not slept much as I've been overthinking things a bit. Do I have what it takes? Physically, emotionally, mentally? In short, I am not so sure. However, while I'm not super confident in my abilities right now, especially because I'm still rather tired physically and emotionally, I am confident in Jesus giving me his abilities. I can also rest completely assured in the fact that I know it was God that has called me to this place and he won't call me into something without giving me the ability to achieve what he has destined for me to do. Therefore I will go and give it my absolute best, knowing that God is my strength, physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It's going to take hard work, discipline and I'm sure there will be times this semester where I really wish I wasn't doing it, but I know I'm called into youth work, so I won't give up and I will see it through to the end. Also, it's a huge blessing for me to be there at all, especially considering I was told at eight years old that I'd never amount to anything, that I'd be lucky to pass primary school. Therefore I'm seriously completely humbled to have the opportunity by God's grace that I'm even at university, so I think I owe it to him to do my best with the gift of an education he's giving me here.
Well, I guess I'd better attempt this thing they call sleep as tomorrow is a huge day for me. Remember, giving up is not an option! :)
Sunday, 28 July 2013
Sunday, 21 July 2013
John 15
Sunday, July 21, 2013
As I write this, I'm totally getting my Irish on with some tea, Mumford and Sons and wearing my most bogan, old track pants and jumper. My phone is on silent and I only intend on answering if my best friend, Kathy, was to call me. Everyone else can hold that thought for tonight. I will get back to you tomorrow.
This week has really tried hard to punch me in the face and a couple of times, it felt like it was getting the best of me. However, I know at the end of it all, Jesus is right there and knows what he's doing. I'm thankful for the wisdom of some great friends, particularly Kathy, Candace, Michelle and Shona this week. They've put up with my grumbling, thrown chocolate at me, given me hugs and shared their godly wisdom with me as well and for that, I thank God for each of them.
It has been one really big rollercoaster ride, which is an ironic metaphor, especially considering I'm actually not allowed to ride rollercoasters, so I can't speak from experience on that one. I really need to come up with better metaphors in future. It's like one day I'm smiling with the world, fist-pumping and feeling like I can dominate anything set out in front of me and the next day, the smallest thing can happen and I'm struggling not to break down publicly. Therefore I've decided it best to stay home tonight and also because I'm physically unwell. When I refuse chocolate and don't watch all the Dockers game, you know I'm unwell. I started feeling sick last night with flu-like symptoms and I'm feeling pretty average with it today, so didn't think it was worth the risk of going to church, especially in the cold.
I was texting with Michelle earlier and she had a wise perspective on it all that has left me feeling a lot better. She said it sounds like I'm going through a John 15 season. In John 15 in the bible, Jesus is speaking about trees. He mentions that sometimes it's necessary for some branches that are dying to be cut off so that stronger branches can grow. Lately it feels to me like some things are changing in my life and as the old saying goes, change is a necessary evil. It's only evil because it's uncomfortable. If we always did what was comfortable, we would never learn anything, we'd never grow and never get anywhere in life because we'd be stuck. Sounds like a boring way to live to me.
"Easy living, you're not much life for me. Easy dying, hey you look just about the same. Would you please take me off your list, easy living?" - Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown
Seriously, if we only always did what was easy and comfortable, we wouldn't really have fun in this life either. Therefore if God takes me through something that's tough, especially if I know for a fact that God is right there leading me through it all, I will hold on to him through it, follow him with his word and keep close to him in prayer. I will also keep in good contact with those amazing men and women he's put in my life to give me wise advice through these inconsistent seasons that try and push me around. I may bruise, but I will never break and God has promised me this. Yes it hurts when we go through seasons of change and growth, but they are definitely for our own good, especially when God is the one leading us through them.
I'd like to end today with a challenge: If you are feeling God leading you through one of those seasons and you're a bit scared because you think it will hurt, embrace it and let it take its course within you. It will be rough and won't be all nice, but God will never leave you at all and he will do it with grace and love as well. You'll be better off for facing it than ignoring it because if it's a God-thing, you're only delaying the inevitable anyway. Face your fears and punch them in their dirty face! :)
As I write this, I'm totally getting my Irish on with some tea, Mumford and Sons and wearing my most bogan, old track pants and jumper. My phone is on silent and I only intend on answering if my best friend, Kathy, was to call me. Everyone else can hold that thought for tonight. I will get back to you tomorrow.
This week has really tried hard to punch me in the face and a couple of times, it felt like it was getting the best of me. However, I know at the end of it all, Jesus is right there and knows what he's doing. I'm thankful for the wisdom of some great friends, particularly Kathy, Candace, Michelle and Shona this week. They've put up with my grumbling, thrown chocolate at me, given me hugs and shared their godly wisdom with me as well and for that, I thank God for each of them.
It has been one really big rollercoaster ride, which is an ironic metaphor, especially considering I'm actually not allowed to ride rollercoasters, so I can't speak from experience on that one. I really need to come up with better metaphors in future. It's like one day I'm smiling with the world, fist-pumping and feeling like I can dominate anything set out in front of me and the next day, the smallest thing can happen and I'm struggling not to break down publicly. Therefore I've decided it best to stay home tonight and also because I'm physically unwell. When I refuse chocolate and don't watch all the Dockers game, you know I'm unwell. I started feeling sick last night with flu-like symptoms and I'm feeling pretty average with it today, so didn't think it was worth the risk of going to church, especially in the cold.
I was texting with Michelle earlier and she had a wise perspective on it all that has left me feeling a lot better. She said it sounds like I'm going through a John 15 season. In John 15 in the bible, Jesus is speaking about trees. He mentions that sometimes it's necessary for some branches that are dying to be cut off so that stronger branches can grow. Lately it feels to me like some things are changing in my life and as the old saying goes, change is a necessary evil. It's only evil because it's uncomfortable. If we always did what was comfortable, we would never learn anything, we'd never grow and never get anywhere in life because we'd be stuck. Sounds like a boring way to live to me.
"Easy living, you're not much life for me. Easy dying, hey you look just about the same. Would you please take me off your list, easy living?" - Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown
Seriously, if we only always did what was easy and comfortable, we wouldn't really have fun in this life either. Therefore if God takes me through something that's tough, especially if I know for a fact that God is right there leading me through it all, I will hold on to him through it, follow him with his word and keep close to him in prayer. I will also keep in good contact with those amazing men and women he's put in my life to give me wise advice through these inconsistent seasons that try and push me around. I may bruise, but I will never break and God has promised me this. Yes it hurts when we go through seasons of change and growth, but they are definitely for our own good, especially when God is the one leading us through them.
I'd like to end today with a challenge: If you are feeling God leading you through one of those seasons and you're a bit scared because you think it will hurt, embrace it and let it take its course within you. It will be rough and won't be all nice, but God will never leave you at all and he will do it with grace and love as well. You'll be better off for facing it than ignoring it because if it's a God-thing, you're only delaying the inevitable anyway. Face your fears and punch them in their dirty face! :)
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Rivalries - part two
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Last week, I wrote about rivalries and how there are some big sporting events where the rivals of their respective sports will go head-to-head in the near future. Well, as I write this, it is Sunday night and my emotions have been through the highs and lows that rival sports can offer. I've watched my favourite AFL team, the Fremantle Dockers, win against their rival, West Coast Eagles and stay in contention for a top four finish to what has been a very good season. It was a really good game by both sides to be fair and even though I thought the umpiring on the day was terrible, it had no effect on the result of the game. There was one huge decision though that resulted in Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich being reported. It was a very soft, accidental bump at most and the only reason he was reported was because it was head-high contact. The other player involved got straight back up, so I think it should have been a free kick at most, not a report. If he gets suspended for it, it will be a seriously shocking decision. As for Andrew Embley's hit on Clancee Pearce, Pearce was unconscious and didn't come back on the ground. Therefore I think Embley is in a bit of trouble. Also, Embley has a bad record in regard to being suspended in the past. However, there have been some really strange decisions in the past, so I really don't know what will happen.
Just as I was fist-pumping and enjoying the spoils of the victory, my emotions would be severely tested as I turned it over to watch the final day's play in the first Ashes test between Australia and England. At lunch, it came down to this: Australia needing 20 runs to win and England one wicket. There was the faintest noise, given not out by the field umpire and eventually, the England captain reviewed the decision and the video umpire gave it out after he asked for audio assistance. Now here is where it gets really interesting. Immediately following the decision, being a passionate Australian male, my blood was at boiling point. Not only had we officially lost the first test so closely after coming back from the death in nearly an impossible situation, but it was in the enemy's backyard and in very controversial circumstances. I was really unhappy considering all of that because of the closeness of the game, the fact it was the enemy in their own backyard and on a technicality, I don't think it should have been given out. The third umpire took an eternity to make his decision because he went back and asked to use the audio to make his decision. Initially, I thought it wasn't fair that he did that because he should have just gone off the evidence presented to him. However, I think that's actually fair enough because it was fairly out and I think if we have the technology available to help us make the correct decisions, especially in big games like this, then we should be able to make the most of it and use it to our benefit. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not saying well done to England at all because they really are the enemy and I hope we absolutely kick their asses in the next four games. But what I am saying is I think the fair decision was made in the end. Hopefully it just fires up the Australian team for the next four games.
As for the third part of the rivalries in sport, Queensland head into enemy territory to play NSW in origin three on Wednesday night. The leader of the NSW thugs, Paul Gallen, is out and so hopefully that gives Queensland an edge there. The crowd will have to be shut out as being in Sydney, it will be dominated by NSW fans. I think the experience in big games, knowing it's a game three and that they're going for eight series wins in a row, I think Queensland can get the job done. All I do know is that my phone will be on silent on Wednesday from 5:30-8:00, so don't bother contacting me, unless it's about the game, because like today, I won't reply to any messages or take any calls. By the way, that's not even a joke.
Well, that's enough rambling for me for one week but before I go, I need to make it public information that I didn't skip church simply for the western derby, though I have definitely been known to do things like that in the past. I didn't make church because I am legit so tired still and the trains aren't running properly for a few days while a stupid tunnel gets connected. All things considered, I felt it best to just have a chill day at home. Anyway, that's me done for now.
Last week, I wrote about rivalries and how there are some big sporting events where the rivals of their respective sports will go head-to-head in the near future. Well, as I write this, it is Sunday night and my emotions have been through the highs and lows that rival sports can offer. I've watched my favourite AFL team, the Fremantle Dockers, win against their rival, West Coast Eagles and stay in contention for a top four finish to what has been a very good season. It was a really good game by both sides to be fair and even though I thought the umpiring on the day was terrible, it had no effect on the result of the game. There was one huge decision though that resulted in Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich being reported. It was a very soft, accidental bump at most and the only reason he was reported was because it was head-high contact. The other player involved got straight back up, so I think it should have been a free kick at most, not a report. If he gets suspended for it, it will be a seriously shocking decision. As for Andrew Embley's hit on Clancee Pearce, Pearce was unconscious and didn't come back on the ground. Therefore I think Embley is in a bit of trouble. Also, Embley has a bad record in regard to being suspended in the past. However, there have been some really strange decisions in the past, so I really don't know what will happen.
Just as I was fist-pumping and enjoying the spoils of the victory, my emotions would be severely tested as I turned it over to watch the final day's play in the first Ashes test between Australia and England. At lunch, it came down to this: Australia needing 20 runs to win and England one wicket. There was the faintest noise, given not out by the field umpire and eventually, the England captain reviewed the decision and the video umpire gave it out after he asked for audio assistance. Now here is where it gets really interesting. Immediately following the decision, being a passionate Australian male, my blood was at boiling point. Not only had we officially lost the first test so closely after coming back from the death in nearly an impossible situation, but it was in the enemy's backyard and in very controversial circumstances. I was really unhappy considering all of that because of the closeness of the game, the fact it was the enemy in their own backyard and on a technicality, I don't think it should have been given out. The third umpire took an eternity to make his decision because he went back and asked to use the audio to make his decision. Initially, I thought it wasn't fair that he did that because he should have just gone off the evidence presented to him. However, I think that's actually fair enough because it was fairly out and I think if we have the technology available to help us make the correct decisions, especially in big games like this, then we should be able to make the most of it and use it to our benefit. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not saying well done to England at all because they really are the enemy and I hope we absolutely kick their asses in the next four games. But what I am saying is I think the fair decision was made in the end. Hopefully it just fires up the Australian team for the next four games.
As for the third part of the rivalries in sport, Queensland head into enemy territory to play NSW in origin three on Wednesday night. The leader of the NSW thugs, Paul Gallen, is out and so hopefully that gives Queensland an edge there. The crowd will have to be shut out as being in Sydney, it will be dominated by NSW fans. I think the experience in big games, knowing it's a game three and that they're going for eight series wins in a row, I think Queensland can get the job done. All I do know is that my phone will be on silent on Wednesday from 5:30-8:00, so don't bother contacting me, unless it's about the game, because like today, I won't reply to any messages or take any calls. By the way, that's not even a joke.
Well, that's enough rambling for me for one week but before I go, I need to make it public information that I didn't skip church simply for the western derby, though I have definitely been known to do things like that in the past. I didn't make church because I am legit so tired still and the trains aren't running properly for a few days while a stupid tunnel gets connected. All things considered, I felt it best to just have a chill day at home. Anyway, that's me done for now.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Rivalries
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Today as the week comes to an end, I find myself sitting in my room, only a few metres away from our fireplace, listening to Foo Fighters at full volume because nobody else is home. The Dockers have just registered yet another victory at home against a low-ranked opponent and all this leaves me thinking that rivalry is a great thing, especially for someone like me. I find people like that really inspire me, especially during weeks like this.
On Thursday, I had an unfortunate incident on public transport that left me with a wrist injury which is why I wasn't at youth or church at all this week and haven't left the house since Thursday. I've been emotionally up and down and as I said to my best friend a couple of days ago, I'm a bit over it honestly because it's felt like it's been one thing after another for about a year for me now and I just want a break, seriously. However, I then see a story like Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich who had serious ankle surgery and two months on the sidelines. He is well-known all over Australia for his ability on the field and has gone through his career relatively healthy and this is by far the longest he's had off-field with an injury, so he's been very blessed in that way. He said in an interview this week that his wife has been great because even he has struggled at times with his emotions during his rehabilitation process and not doing what he loves every week, which is playing footy and leading the Fremantle Dockers into battle. Today he came back and kicked two huge goals from outside 50 within a minute. You could tell by the look in his face that he was back emotionally. Sure, he didn't dominate and he only kicked the two goals, but you could tell he was positive and up for the challenge and sometimes, that's all it takes.
This week the Australian Wallabies got smashed against the British and Irish Lions in rugby and they won't be happy one bit. Losing to the poms absolutely hurts, nearly as much as losing to the yanks and kiwis hurts us. Hopefully our national cricket team can learn from our rugby team as the Ashes series starts this Wednesday. Also, while on footy, the Dockers play their ultimate rival, the West Coast Eagles in the Western Derby. That means there will be a lot of jokes, sledging and fun for all my Eagles fan friends. Simon, I'm looking right at you my friend. While the crowd will be pro-Eagles as it's their home game, I'm sure it won't bother the Dockers one bit and I think they will feed off it to be honest.
As for me, I love having a rival and I've had them in my life all the time. Whether it's beating someone wearing a Pies jersey in the 2012 Run For a Reason or brushing off ten people offering to help me up "Heartbreak Hill" in the 2012 City To Surf, I love a good challenge as it stirs the fire in my gut to keep going when the times get tough. As I write this, I am preparing as best I can, despite a minor wrist injury, for a half-marathon in this year's city to surf on August 25. What's stirring me on? I just don't know how to quit and it's a challenge that I've never accomplished before and something I'd like to tick off my bucket list. My rival in this situation is not one competitor exactly as I've no idea exactly who is running. Instead, my rival in this case would be anyone who has ever said anything negative over my life and that I can't do anything. It's all the bullies I faced in school, the doctors who predicted I'd be dead years ago and anyone who ever made my sisters and closest friends cry. It's a big "screw you" to all those people!
Ultimately, I'd love to be able to compete in the London marathon someday. For now, I'll be happy just to finish the half-marathon, especially considering doctors were saying I won't even make the start line. Also, while I'm not arrogant enough to be making any bold predictions as for a finishing time as it's a distance I've never attempted before, let alone in race conditions, I will promise that I will give 100%, I will finish and I will overtake anyone wearing Collingwood Magpies gear.
"Stand up for the dark horses." - Switchfoot
Today as the week comes to an end, I find myself sitting in my room, only a few metres away from our fireplace, listening to Foo Fighters at full volume because nobody else is home. The Dockers have just registered yet another victory at home against a low-ranked opponent and all this leaves me thinking that rivalry is a great thing, especially for someone like me. I find people like that really inspire me, especially during weeks like this.
On Thursday, I had an unfortunate incident on public transport that left me with a wrist injury which is why I wasn't at youth or church at all this week and haven't left the house since Thursday. I've been emotionally up and down and as I said to my best friend a couple of days ago, I'm a bit over it honestly because it's felt like it's been one thing after another for about a year for me now and I just want a break, seriously. However, I then see a story like Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich who had serious ankle surgery and two months on the sidelines. He is well-known all over Australia for his ability on the field and has gone through his career relatively healthy and this is by far the longest he's had off-field with an injury, so he's been very blessed in that way. He said in an interview this week that his wife has been great because even he has struggled at times with his emotions during his rehabilitation process and not doing what he loves every week, which is playing footy and leading the Fremantle Dockers into battle. Today he came back and kicked two huge goals from outside 50 within a minute. You could tell by the look in his face that he was back emotionally. Sure, he didn't dominate and he only kicked the two goals, but you could tell he was positive and up for the challenge and sometimes, that's all it takes.
This week the Australian Wallabies got smashed against the British and Irish Lions in rugby and they won't be happy one bit. Losing to the poms absolutely hurts, nearly as much as losing to the yanks and kiwis hurts us. Hopefully our national cricket team can learn from our rugby team as the Ashes series starts this Wednesday. Also, while on footy, the Dockers play their ultimate rival, the West Coast Eagles in the Western Derby. That means there will be a lot of jokes, sledging and fun for all my Eagles fan friends. Simon, I'm looking right at you my friend. While the crowd will be pro-Eagles as it's their home game, I'm sure it won't bother the Dockers one bit and I think they will feed off it to be honest.
As for me, I love having a rival and I've had them in my life all the time. Whether it's beating someone wearing a Pies jersey in the 2012 Run For a Reason or brushing off ten people offering to help me up "Heartbreak Hill" in the 2012 City To Surf, I love a good challenge as it stirs the fire in my gut to keep going when the times get tough. As I write this, I am preparing as best I can, despite a minor wrist injury, for a half-marathon in this year's city to surf on August 25. What's stirring me on? I just don't know how to quit and it's a challenge that I've never accomplished before and something I'd like to tick off my bucket list. My rival in this situation is not one competitor exactly as I've no idea exactly who is running. Instead, my rival in this case would be anyone who has ever said anything negative over my life and that I can't do anything. It's all the bullies I faced in school, the doctors who predicted I'd be dead years ago and anyone who ever made my sisters and closest friends cry. It's a big "screw you" to all those people!
Ultimately, I'd love to be able to compete in the London marathon someday. For now, I'll be happy just to finish the half-marathon, especially considering doctors were saying I won't even make the start line. Also, while I'm not arrogant enough to be making any bold predictions as for a finishing time as it's a distance I've never attempted before, let alone in race conditions, I will promise that I will give 100%, I will finish and I will overtake anyone wearing Collingwood Magpies gear.
"Stand up for the dark horses." - Switchfoot
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