Sunday, July 21, 2013
As I write this, I'm totally getting my Irish on with some tea, Mumford and Sons and wearing my most bogan, old track pants and jumper. My phone is on silent and I only intend on answering if my best friend, Kathy, was to call me. Everyone else can hold that thought for tonight. I will get back to you tomorrow.
This week has really tried hard to punch me in the face and a couple of times, it felt like it was getting the best of me. However, I know at the end of it all, Jesus is right there and knows what he's doing. I'm thankful for the wisdom of some great friends, particularly Kathy, Candace, Michelle and Shona this week. They've put up with my grumbling, thrown chocolate at me, given me hugs and shared their godly wisdom with me as well and for that, I thank God for each of them.
It has been one really big rollercoaster ride, which is an ironic metaphor, especially considering I'm actually not allowed to ride rollercoasters, so I can't speak from experience on that one. I really need to come up with better metaphors in future. It's like one day I'm smiling with the world, fist-pumping and feeling like I can dominate anything set out in front of me and the next day, the smallest thing can happen and I'm struggling not to break down publicly. Therefore I've decided it best to stay home tonight and also because I'm physically unwell. When I refuse chocolate and don't watch all the Dockers game, you know I'm unwell. I started feeling sick last night with flu-like symptoms and I'm feeling pretty average with it today, so didn't think it was worth the risk of going to church, especially in the cold.
I was texting with Michelle earlier and she had a wise perspective on it all that has left me feeling a lot better. She said it sounds like I'm going through a John 15 season. In John 15 in the bible, Jesus is speaking about trees. He mentions that sometimes it's necessary for some branches that are dying to be cut off so that stronger branches can grow. Lately it feels to me like some things are changing in my life and as the old saying goes, change is a necessary evil. It's only evil because it's uncomfortable. If we always did what was comfortable, we would never learn anything, we'd never grow and never get anywhere in life because we'd be stuck. Sounds like a boring way to live to me.
"Easy living, you're not much life for me. Easy dying, hey you look just about the same. Would you please take me off your list, easy living?" - Switchfoot, The Beautiful Letdown
Seriously, if we only always did what was easy and comfortable, we wouldn't really have fun in this life either. Therefore if God takes me through something that's tough, especially if I know for a fact that God is right there leading me through it all, I will hold on to him through it, follow him with his word and keep close to him in prayer. I will also keep in good contact with those amazing men and women he's put in my life to give me wise advice through these inconsistent seasons that try and push me around. I may bruise, but I will never break and God has promised me this. Yes it hurts when we go through seasons of change and growth, but they are definitely for our own good, especially when God is the one leading us through them.
I'd like to end today with a challenge: If you are feeling God leading you through one of those seasons and you're a bit scared because you think it will hurt, embrace it and let it take its course within you. It will be rough and won't be all nice, but God will never leave you at all and he will do it with grace and love as well. You'll be better off for facing it than ignoring it because if it's a God-thing, you're only delaying the inevitable anyway. Face your fears and punch them in their dirty face! :)
Sunday, 21 July 2013
Sunday, 14 July 2013
Rivalries - part two
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Last week, I wrote about rivalries and how there are some big sporting events where the rivals of their respective sports will go head-to-head in the near future. Well, as I write this, it is Sunday night and my emotions have been through the highs and lows that rival sports can offer. I've watched my favourite AFL team, the Fremantle Dockers, win against their rival, West Coast Eagles and stay in contention for a top four finish to what has been a very good season. It was a really good game by both sides to be fair and even though I thought the umpiring on the day was terrible, it had no effect on the result of the game. There was one huge decision though that resulted in Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich being reported. It was a very soft, accidental bump at most and the only reason he was reported was because it was head-high contact. The other player involved got straight back up, so I think it should have been a free kick at most, not a report. If he gets suspended for it, it will be a seriously shocking decision. As for Andrew Embley's hit on Clancee Pearce, Pearce was unconscious and didn't come back on the ground. Therefore I think Embley is in a bit of trouble. Also, Embley has a bad record in regard to being suspended in the past. However, there have been some really strange decisions in the past, so I really don't know what will happen.
Just as I was fist-pumping and enjoying the spoils of the victory, my emotions would be severely tested as I turned it over to watch the final day's play in the first Ashes test between Australia and England. At lunch, it came down to this: Australia needing 20 runs to win and England one wicket. There was the faintest noise, given not out by the field umpire and eventually, the England captain reviewed the decision and the video umpire gave it out after he asked for audio assistance. Now here is where it gets really interesting. Immediately following the decision, being a passionate Australian male, my blood was at boiling point. Not only had we officially lost the first test so closely after coming back from the death in nearly an impossible situation, but it was in the enemy's backyard and in very controversial circumstances. I was really unhappy considering all of that because of the closeness of the game, the fact it was the enemy in their own backyard and on a technicality, I don't think it should have been given out. The third umpire took an eternity to make his decision because he went back and asked to use the audio to make his decision. Initially, I thought it wasn't fair that he did that because he should have just gone off the evidence presented to him. However, I think that's actually fair enough because it was fairly out and I think if we have the technology available to help us make the correct decisions, especially in big games like this, then we should be able to make the most of it and use it to our benefit. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not saying well done to England at all because they really are the enemy and I hope we absolutely kick their asses in the next four games. But what I am saying is I think the fair decision was made in the end. Hopefully it just fires up the Australian team for the next four games.
As for the third part of the rivalries in sport, Queensland head into enemy territory to play NSW in origin three on Wednesday night. The leader of the NSW thugs, Paul Gallen, is out and so hopefully that gives Queensland an edge there. The crowd will have to be shut out as being in Sydney, it will be dominated by NSW fans. I think the experience in big games, knowing it's a game three and that they're going for eight series wins in a row, I think Queensland can get the job done. All I do know is that my phone will be on silent on Wednesday from 5:30-8:00, so don't bother contacting me, unless it's about the game, because like today, I won't reply to any messages or take any calls. By the way, that's not even a joke.
Well, that's enough rambling for me for one week but before I go, I need to make it public information that I didn't skip church simply for the western derby, though I have definitely been known to do things like that in the past. I didn't make church because I am legit so tired still and the trains aren't running properly for a few days while a stupid tunnel gets connected. All things considered, I felt it best to just have a chill day at home. Anyway, that's me done for now.
Last week, I wrote about rivalries and how there are some big sporting events where the rivals of their respective sports will go head-to-head in the near future. Well, as I write this, it is Sunday night and my emotions have been through the highs and lows that rival sports can offer. I've watched my favourite AFL team, the Fremantle Dockers, win against their rival, West Coast Eagles and stay in contention for a top four finish to what has been a very good season. It was a really good game by both sides to be fair and even though I thought the umpiring on the day was terrible, it had no effect on the result of the game. There was one huge decision though that resulted in Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich being reported. It was a very soft, accidental bump at most and the only reason he was reported was because it was head-high contact. The other player involved got straight back up, so I think it should have been a free kick at most, not a report. If he gets suspended for it, it will be a seriously shocking decision. As for Andrew Embley's hit on Clancee Pearce, Pearce was unconscious and didn't come back on the ground. Therefore I think Embley is in a bit of trouble. Also, Embley has a bad record in regard to being suspended in the past. However, there have been some really strange decisions in the past, so I really don't know what will happen.
Just as I was fist-pumping and enjoying the spoils of the victory, my emotions would be severely tested as I turned it over to watch the final day's play in the first Ashes test between Australia and England. At lunch, it came down to this: Australia needing 20 runs to win and England one wicket. There was the faintest noise, given not out by the field umpire and eventually, the England captain reviewed the decision and the video umpire gave it out after he asked for audio assistance. Now here is where it gets really interesting. Immediately following the decision, being a passionate Australian male, my blood was at boiling point. Not only had we officially lost the first test so closely after coming back from the death in nearly an impossible situation, but it was in the enemy's backyard and in very controversial circumstances. I was really unhappy considering all of that because of the closeness of the game, the fact it was the enemy in their own backyard and on a technicality, I don't think it should have been given out. The third umpire took an eternity to make his decision because he went back and asked to use the audio to make his decision. Initially, I thought it wasn't fair that he did that because he should have just gone off the evidence presented to him. However, I think that's actually fair enough because it was fairly out and I think if we have the technology available to help us make the correct decisions, especially in big games like this, then we should be able to make the most of it and use it to our benefit. Now, don't get me wrong here. I am not saying well done to England at all because they really are the enemy and I hope we absolutely kick their asses in the next four games. But what I am saying is I think the fair decision was made in the end. Hopefully it just fires up the Australian team for the next four games.
As for the third part of the rivalries in sport, Queensland head into enemy territory to play NSW in origin three on Wednesday night. The leader of the NSW thugs, Paul Gallen, is out and so hopefully that gives Queensland an edge there. The crowd will have to be shut out as being in Sydney, it will be dominated by NSW fans. I think the experience in big games, knowing it's a game three and that they're going for eight series wins in a row, I think Queensland can get the job done. All I do know is that my phone will be on silent on Wednesday from 5:30-8:00, so don't bother contacting me, unless it's about the game, because like today, I won't reply to any messages or take any calls. By the way, that's not even a joke.
Well, that's enough rambling for me for one week but before I go, I need to make it public information that I didn't skip church simply for the western derby, though I have definitely been known to do things like that in the past. I didn't make church because I am legit so tired still and the trains aren't running properly for a few days while a stupid tunnel gets connected. All things considered, I felt it best to just have a chill day at home. Anyway, that's me done for now.
Sunday, 7 July 2013
Rivalries
Sunday, July 7, 2013
Today as the week comes to an end, I find myself sitting in my room, only a few metres away from our fireplace, listening to Foo Fighters at full volume because nobody else is home. The Dockers have just registered yet another victory at home against a low-ranked opponent and all this leaves me thinking that rivalry is a great thing, especially for someone like me. I find people like that really inspire me, especially during weeks like this.
On Thursday, I had an unfortunate incident on public transport that left me with a wrist injury which is why I wasn't at youth or church at all this week and haven't left the house since Thursday. I've been emotionally up and down and as I said to my best friend a couple of days ago, I'm a bit over it honestly because it's felt like it's been one thing after another for about a year for me now and I just want a break, seriously. However, I then see a story like Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich who had serious ankle surgery and two months on the sidelines. He is well-known all over Australia for his ability on the field and has gone through his career relatively healthy and this is by far the longest he's had off-field with an injury, so he's been very blessed in that way. He said in an interview this week that his wife has been great because even he has struggled at times with his emotions during his rehabilitation process and not doing what he loves every week, which is playing footy and leading the Fremantle Dockers into battle. Today he came back and kicked two huge goals from outside 50 within a minute. You could tell by the look in his face that he was back emotionally. Sure, he didn't dominate and he only kicked the two goals, but you could tell he was positive and up for the challenge and sometimes, that's all it takes.
This week the Australian Wallabies got smashed against the British and Irish Lions in rugby and they won't be happy one bit. Losing to the poms absolutely hurts, nearly as much as losing to the yanks and kiwis hurts us. Hopefully our national cricket team can learn from our rugby team as the Ashes series starts this Wednesday. Also, while on footy, the Dockers play their ultimate rival, the West Coast Eagles in the Western Derby. That means there will be a lot of jokes, sledging and fun for all my Eagles fan friends. Simon, I'm looking right at you my friend. While the crowd will be pro-Eagles as it's their home game, I'm sure it won't bother the Dockers one bit and I think they will feed off it to be honest.
As for me, I love having a rival and I've had them in my life all the time. Whether it's beating someone wearing a Pies jersey in the 2012 Run For a Reason or brushing off ten people offering to help me up "Heartbreak Hill" in the 2012 City To Surf, I love a good challenge as it stirs the fire in my gut to keep going when the times get tough. As I write this, I am preparing as best I can, despite a minor wrist injury, for a half-marathon in this year's city to surf on August 25. What's stirring me on? I just don't know how to quit and it's a challenge that I've never accomplished before and something I'd like to tick off my bucket list. My rival in this situation is not one competitor exactly as I've no idea exactly who is running. Instead, my rival in this case would be anyone who has ever said anything negative over my life and that I can't do anything. It's all the bullies I faced in school, the doctors who predicted I'd be dead years ago and anyone who ever made my sisters and closest friends cry. It's a big "screw you" to all those people!
Ultimately, I'd love to be able to compete in the London marathon someday. For now, I'll be happy just to finish the half-marathon, especially considering doctors were saying I won't even make the start line. Also, while I'm not arrogant enough to be making any bold predictions as for a finishing time as it's a distance I've never attempted before, let alone in race conditions, I will promise that I will give 100%, I will finish and I will overtake anyone wearing Collingwood Magpies gear.
"Stand up for the dark horses." - Switchfoot
Today as the week comes to an end, I find myself sitting in my room, only a few metres away from our fireplace, listening to Foo Fighters at full volume because nobody else is home. The Dockers have just registered yet another victory at home against a low-ranked opponent and all this leaves me thinking that rivalry is a great thing, especially for someone like me. I find people like that really inspire me, especially during weeks like this.
On Thursday, I had an unfortunate incident on public transport that left me with a wrist injury which is why I wasn't at youth or church at all this week and haven't left the house since Thursday. I've been emotionally up and down and as I said to my best friend a couple of days ago, I'm a bit over it honestly because it's felt like it's been one thing after another for about a year for me now and I just want a break, seriously. However, I then see a story like Dockers captain Matthew Pavlich who had serious ankle surgery and two months on the sidelines. He is well-known all over Australia for his ability on the field and has gone through his career relatively healthy and this is by far the longest he's had off-field with an injury, so he's been very blessed in that way. He said in an interview this week that his wife has been great because even he has struggled at times with his emotions during his rehabilitation process and not doing what he loves every week, which is playing footy and leading the Fremantle Dockers into battle. Today he came back and kicked two huge goals from outside 50 within a minute. You could tell by the look in his face that he was back emotionally. Sure, he didn't dominate and he only kicked the two goals, but you could tell he was positive and up for the challenge and sometimes, that's all it takes.
This week the Australian Wallabies got smashed against the British and Irish Lions in rugby and they won't be happy one bit. Losing to the poms absolutely hurts, nearly as much as losing to the yanks and kiwis hurts us. Hopefully our national cricket team can learn from our rugby team as the Ashes series starts this Wednesday. Also, while on footy, the Dockers play their ultimate rival, the West Coast Eagles in the Western Derby. That means there will be a lot of jokes, sledging and fun for all my Eagles fan friends. Simon, I'm looking right at you my friend. While the crowd will be pro-Eagles as it's their home game, I'm sure it won't bother the Dockers one bit and I think they will feed off it to be honest.
As for me, I love having a rival and I've had them in my life all the time. Whether it's beating someone wearing a Pies jersey in the 2012 Run For a Reason or brushing off ten people offering to help me up "Heartbreak Hill" in the 2012 City To Surf, I love a good challenge as it stirs the fire in my gut to keep going when the times get tough. As I write this, I am preparing as best I can, despite a minor wrist injury, for a half-marathon in this year's city to surf on August 25. What's stirring me on? I just don't know how to quit and it's a challenge that I've never accomplished before and something I'd like to tick off my bucket list. My rival in this situation is not one competitor exactly as I've no idea exactly who is running. Instead, my rival in this case would be anyone who has ever said anything negative over my life and that I can't do anything. It's all the bullies I faced in school, the doctors who predicted I'd be dead years ago and anyone who ever made my sisters and closest friends cry. It's a big "screw you" to all those people!
Ultimately, I'd love to be able to compete in the London marathon someday. For now, I'll be happy just to finish the half-marathon, especially considering doctors were saying I won't even make the start line. Also, while I'm not arrogant enough to be making any bold predictions as for a finishing time as it's a distance I've never attempted before, let alone in race conditions, I will promise that I will give 100%, I will finish and I will overtake anyone wearing Collingwood Magpies gear.
"Stand up for the dark horses." - Switchfoot
Friday, 28 June 2013
29-06-13
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Yesterday, I read something on Facebook and it totally hurt my heart. To be honest, it robbed me of sleep last night and it still hurts me now. A good friend of mine, MJ, who doesn't have cooties, is leaving to go back to England tomorrow and I must admit it totally sucks. Seriously, I'm not liking the country of England right now! I didn't cry last night, but am struggling with it today. Also, my best friend Kathy is on her way there very soon as well and that will not be fun saying bye to her. Not to mention my friend Drew left to live in London a couple of years ago as well and he's like a big brother to me. Seriously, England, you suck! :(
It would be okay if I was healthy enough to fly that far, but the fact is I'm just not. Sure, I've never been one to take every word of advice of my doctor, but sometimes I just know my body and I know I don't have the physical strength to go halfway around the world. Well, the bright news is MJ did say she'd be back soon. How soon is soon, though? I've got no idea. I guess I've just got to be thankful for technology such as Skype, Facebook and e-mail. As good as that is, it's not the same at all.
Therefore today I haven't got out of bed (also because last night was a crazy awesome night at youth that took it out of me physically) and it's 1:38 pm already and I've no intention to get up any time soon either. I will probably get up around 5:00 to get some food, a drink and watch the Dockers game that starts at 5:30, but I might not either because I really am that tired today, physically and emotionally.
Well, last night really was amazeballs. Yes, amazeballs is a word. We had a band from south of Perth come and lead worship for us and it was great. The presence of God last night was so thick, it was crazy! People were getting touched all across the room. Then, MJ and I shared our personal life stories and straight after I was finished, it was as if heaven just turned a tap on. Seriously, people were getting flooded with God's goodness right away and then, Hayden, our young adult pastor, got up and shared something for a few minutes and then it was like God wanted to give out even more. It made for a very long, but rewarding night. It's nights like those that make me sit back and thank God that he didn't give up on me and he gave me a heart for youth. Seriously, as I said last night, I don't want to see any youth have to deal with what I've dealt with and I need to make sure they know there's a real God who loves them the way they are. That's why I'm a youth leader and why I'm studying a Social Science degree, with a major in Youth Work at university. And on that bombshell, that's me done for today.
Yesterday, I read something on Facebook and it totally hurt my heart. To be honest, it robbed me of sleep last night and it still hurts me now. A good friend of mine, MJ, who doesn't have cooties, is leaving to go back to England tomorrow and I must admit it totally sucks. Seriously, I'm not liking the country of England right now! I didn't cry last night, but am struggling with it today. Also, my best friend Kathy is on her way there very soon as well and that will not be fun saying bye to her. Not to mention my friend Drew left to live in London a couple of years ago as well and he's like a big brother to me. Seriously, England, you suck! :(
It would be okay if I was healthy enough to fly that far, but the fact is I'm just not. Sure, I've never been one to take every word of advice of my doctor, but sometimes I just know my body and I know I don't have the physical strength to go halfway around the world. Well, the bright news is MJ did say she'd be back soon. How soon is soon, though? I've got no idea. I guess I've just got to be thankful for technology such as Skype, Facebook and e-mail. As good as that is, it's not the same at all.
Therefore today I haven't got out of bed (also because last night was a crazy awesome night at youth that took it out of me physically) and it's 1:38 pm already and I've no intention to get up any time soon either. I will probably get up around 5:00 to get some food, a drink and watch the Dockers game that starts at 5:30, but I might not either because I really am that tired today, physically and emotionally.
Well, last night really was amazeballs. Yes, amazeballs is a word. We had a band from south of Perth come and lead worship for us and it was great. The presence of God last night was so thick, it was crazy! People were getting touched all across the room. Then, MJ and I shared our personal life stories and straight after I was finished, it was as if heaven just turned a tap on. Seriously, people were getting flooded with God's goodness right away and then, Hayden, our young adult pastor, got up and shared something for a few minutes and then it was like God wanted to give out even more. It made for a very long, but rewarding night. It's nights like those that make me sit back and thank God that he didn't give up on me and he gave me a heart for youth. Seriously, as I said last night, I don't want to see any youth have to deal with what I've dealt with and I need to make sure they know there's a real God who loves them the way they are. That's why I'm a youth leader and why I'm studying a Social Science degree, with a major in Youth Work at university. And on that bombshell, that's me done for today.
Tuesday, 25 June 2013
25-06-13
Tuesday, June 25, 2013
First up, happy birthday to my aunty today! Even if you are busy with work and/or study, make sure you have taken the time to at least have a little bit of fun. I would have sent you a text but I have no phone still.
As for the rest of my day, I'm still trying to get my head around it and it will probably take some time, as I am one of those typical overthinking people. I just hope I do get some sort of sleep tonight because I lost a lot of sleep last night doing the same thing and oddly enough, for the same reason as well. Today I had coffee with one of the most AMAZING people ever and it was even better because I hadn't seen this person in like two months. That's why I couldn't sleep last night, because I was just too excited to see her. As is always the case with said beautiful woman, the hugs were great, coffee excellent and the conversation involved serious moments, awkwardness and some laughing. It's easy to state that seeing her has made my day. Heck, every time I see her she has this wonderful ability to make my day, whatever kind of mood I'm in or whatever is going on in my life. :D
I left that smiling like a complete tool, as one does when they leave an epic time like that. I needed to be smiling too as I was on my way to the doctors because I've had a swollen foot for a couple of weeks now. The doctors at the hospital did look at it, but said that there is nothing to worry about and it will go down soon. Well, it's only become worse, which is why I made the choice to go and see my gp about it. He's a very thorough doctor and so took a while to make his assessment of it. He gave me some good and bad news. He said the good news is I'm not feeling or looking unwell at all, so he doesn't think there is an infection of any type. He said the bad news is he think it could be because of a possible blood clot in the lower leg, so he has taken some blood and given me a referral to go to the hospital and get an ultrasound done. So, for the past three hours, I've just been sitting at home and waiting for Mum to come home because as I got home, she hasn't been home and I'm not keen to go by myself.
Well, in the mean time I am just going to piece a few things together from my conversation with said woman from today. I did tell her that I want to finish the conversation when I see her next, which is most likely to be Sunday. Therefore I really need to get my head around a few things to figure out what needs to be said. Well, I think I need to go brainstorm some thoughts down on paper... Night, night kids!
First up, happy birthday to my aunty today! Even if you are busy with work and/or study, make sure you have taken the time to at least have a little bit of fun. I would have sent you a text but I have no phone still.
As for the rest of my day, I'm still trying to get my head around it and it will probably take some time, as I am one of those typical overthinking people. I just hope I do get some sort of sleep tonight because I lost a lot of sleep last night doing the same thing and oddly enough, for the same reason as well. Today I had coffee with one of the most AMAZING people ever and it was even better because I hadn't seen this person in like two months. That's why I couldn't sleep last night, because I was just too excited to see her. As is always the case with said beautiful woman, the hugs were great, coffee excellent and the conversation involved serious moments, awkwardness and some laughing. It's easy to state that seeing her has made my day. Heck, every time I see her she has this wonderful ability to make my day, whatever kind of mood I'm in or whatever is going on in my life. :D
I left that smiling like a complete tool, as one does when they leave an epic time like that. I needed to be smiling too as I was on my way to the doctors because I've had a swollen foot for a couple of weeks now. The doctors at the hospital did look at it, but said that there is nothing to worry about and it will go down soon. Well, it's only become worse, which is why I made the choice to go and see my gp about it. He's a very thorough doctor and so took a while to make his assessment of it. He gave me some good and bad news. He said the good news is I'm not feeling or looking unwell at all, so he doesn't think there is an infection of any type. He said the bad news is he think it could be because of a possible blood clot in the lower leg, so he has taken some blood and given me a referral to go to the hospital and get an ultrasound done. So, for the past three hours, I've just been sitting at home and waiting for Mum to come home because as I got home, she hasn't been home and I'm not keen to go by myself.
Well, in the mean time I am just going to piece a few things together from my conversation with said woman from today. I did tell her that I want to finish the conversation when I see her next, which is most likely to be Sunday. Therefore I really need to get my head around a few things to figure out what needs to be said. Well, I think I need to go brainstorm some thoughts down on paper... Night, night kids!
Monday, 24 June 2013
24-06-13
Monday, June 24, 2013
Lately I've been asked by a lot of people, married, single or otherwise about my relationship status. Those that know me well will not need to read my explanation here, but for anyone who cares, I am very single and that will not change anytime soon. Why's that? Well, I came to a conclusion around this time last year that it's pretty bloody obvious that I just live in the friend-zone and I need to come to a place where I accept that and move on with my life. I would like to think I've done that over the past year. My care factor for the whole relationship scene has never been lower than it is right now. Also, I really don't know many happy people in relationships, so that doesn't exactly inspire me to find my princess. Aside from those awesome ones where the people are married for 10+ years with children and really are living happy, fruitful lives, I don't see anyone truly happy. People like that make me think maybe it is worth it, but then I remember that I'd have to put my heart out there again and that I'd have to deal with mental and emotional issues and games and it all just looks too hard, especially at the moment. I don't have the energy to deal with those issues right now, especially considering the medical and physical issues I've already been through during the first half of this year.
It feels like that every time a female friend of mine gets into a relationship, I turn invisible, although there is one exception to this and she knows who she is. Seriously, ít's immature, stupid and makes me feel like I don't count in your life. Well, if that's how it's going to be, fine. I don't chase people who don't care for me. Also, I don't want to become one of those snobs who don't have time for their friends simply because they now have a partner. Seriously, punch me in the face if I ever become like that!
I'm not completely ruling out ever finding a decent woman who hasn't friendzoned me, but I am saying it won't be this year and she is going to have to be all kinds of amazing because I don't fall easily anymore. Over this next season, I'm just going to be content to keep going the way I have done over the past year, with my relationship with God, my family and closest friends, about half of whom are female anyway.
It's not that my self-image is low or anything. I know I'm a decent enough person who is not a moron at all, but I simply don't have the emotional energy anymore. To sum it all up: it's their loss.
Lately I've been asked by a lot of people, married, single or otherwise about my relationship status. Those that know me well will not need to read my explanation here, but for anyone who cares, I am very single and that will not change anytime soon. Why's that? Well, I came to a conclusion around this time last year that it's pretty bloody obvious that I just live in the friend-zone and I need to come to a place where I accept that and move on with my life. I would like to think I've done that over the past year. My care factor for the whole relationship scene has never been lower than it is right now. Also, I really don't know many happy people in relationships, so that doesn't exactly inspire me to find my princess. Aside from those awesome ones where the people are married for 10+ years with children and really are living happy, fruitful lives, I don't see anyone truly happy. People like that make me think maybe it is worth it, but then I remember that I'd have to put my heart out there again and that I'd have to deal with mental and emotional issues and games and it all just looks too hard, especially at the moment. I don't have the energy to deal with those issues right now, especially considering the medical and physical issues I've already been through during the first half of this year.
It feels like that every time a female friend of mine gets into a relationship, I turn invisible, although there is one exception to this and she knows who she is. Seriously, ít's immature, stupid and makes me feel like I don't count in your life. Well, if that's how it's going to be, fine. I don't chase people who don't care for me. Also, I don't want to become one of those snobs who don't have time for their friends simply because they now have a partner. Seriously, punch me in the face if I ever become like that!
I'm not completely ruling out ever finding a decent woman who hasn't friendzoned me, but I am saying it won't be this year and she is going to have to be all kinds of amazing because I don't fall easily anymore. Over this next season, I'm just going to be content to keep going the way I have done over the past year, with my relationship with God, my family and closest friends, about half of whom are female anyway.
It's not that my self-image is low or anything. I know I'm a decent enough person who is not a moron at all, but I simply don't have the emotional energy anymore. To sum it all up: it's their loss.
Sunday, 23 June 2013
23-06-13
Sunday, June 23, 2013
Wisdom is a beautiful, yet very tough thing to master. I'm 27 years old and still struggle with that one these days, especially when it comes to my health and my physical limitations. I've been brought up to see myself as no different to anyone else and I don't see myself different at all, but the truth is I am different, at least a little bit. My body is not going to react the same as it would others who don't have any physical issues whatsoever.
Today, I woke up at around 9:00 after having to go to the city yesterday to pick up Bon Jovi tickets and call in for a coffee at Little Willy's. Even though I was out for only a grand total of about 3 hours, it really did take it out of me. As a consequence, I slept about ten hours straight and was still tired all day today, despite eating and drinking properly and not leaving the house at all. Therefore, come mid-afternoon, I was left with a choice for my evening: Would I risk pushing my body and go to church, even though I've only been home a few days or would I be sensible and wise and stay home and have a chilled night? Well, I did option number two. My body pretty much forced me to stop because it got to a point where my joints were seizing. Even if I did brush off the physical tiredness and soreness, God decided I was staying home anyway because it's been raining fairly hard most of the day and there's no way I'm going in that and it was too late to organise a lift, especially without a phone. On that, it's even harder getting home without a phone because there are no buses from the train station I use that late on a Sunday, so I guess I will have to probably miss another week of church, at least until I get my new phone. Seriously, I don't feel safe leaving the house without a phone at the moment unless I'm with someone.
Well, it ended being a productive, yet chilled day with watching the Dockers win again (seriously, I'm not getting bored of this one bit) and then I set up my room properly and organized all my clothes. I even threw heaps of them out that had just had it or didn't fit me properly and was amazed to find just how much I still have. That made me think of those I know currently in Cambodia, helping out people who have got seriously nothing and how blessed we are in Australia to have way more than we need, even if we think we are "poor".
I must admit I am glad I made the decision to stay home tonight. My body is thanking me and I'm feeling okay because of that. Had I tried to go extra hard and ride the emotional rollercoaster of excitement that is being home and go to church to see lots of people, I would probably be twice as tired or even feeling physically unwell right now. Putting my health first is a learning curve but it's a tough one because I need to figure out the best way to live my life as best and productively as possible, yet still being sensible enough to make sure I'm not making myself any worse than I need to be.
Lastly, God is big enough to not be confined to a building and so if he has something he needs to say to me, he can speak to me right here in my bedroom at home. I don't exactly have to be in church, with the right song, the right person praying for me and feeling holier than thou to receive from God. We just need to open our mouths. Seriously, just start talking to him and you'll be amazed at what happenes next! He understands that my body needs a rest sometimes and that I won't be able to make it to church every single Sunday without failure. This is why I'm thankful for his grace that allows me to do this.
Wisdom is a beautiful, yet very tough thing to master. I'm 27 years old and still struggle with that one these days, especially when it comes to my health and my physical limitations. I've been brought up to see myself as no different to anyone else and I don't see myself different at all, but the truth is I am different, at least a little bit. My body is not going to react the same as it would others who don't have any physical issues whatsoever.
Today, I woke up at around 9:00 after having to go to the city yesterday to pick up Bon Jovi tickets and call in for a coffee at Little Willy's. Even though I was out for only a grand total of about 3 hours, it really did take it out of me. As a consequence, I slept about ten hours straight and was still tired all day today, despite eating and drinking properly and not leaving the house at all. Therefore, come mid-afternoon, I was left with a choice for my evening: Would I risk pushing my body and go to church, even though I've only been home a few days or would I be sensible and wise and stay home and have a chilled night? Well, I did option number two. My body pretty much forced me to stop because it got to a point where my joints were seizing. Even if I did brush off the physical tiredness and soreness, God decided I was staying home anyway because it's been raining fairly hard most of the day and there's no way I'm going in that and it was too late to organise a lift, especially without a phone. On that, it's even harder getting home without a phone because there are no buses from the train station I use that late on a Sunday, so I guess I will have to probably miss another week of church, at least until I get my new phone. Seriously, I don't feel safe leaving the house without a phone at the moment unless I'm with someone.
Well, it ended being a productive, yet chilled day with watching the Dockers win again (seriously, I'm not getting bored of this one bit) and then I set up my room properly and organized all my clothes. I even threw heaps of them out that had just had it or didn't fit me properly and was amazed to find just how much I still have. That made me think of those I know currently in Cambodia, helping out people who have got seriously nothing and how blessed we are in Australia to have way more than we need, even if we think we are "poor".
I must admit I am glad I made the decision to stay home tonight. My body is thanking me and I'm feeling okay because of that. Had I tried to go extra hard and ride the emotional rollercoaster of excitement that is being home and go to church to see lots of people, I would probably be twice as tired or even feeling physically unwell right now. Putting my health first is a learning curve but it's a tough one because I need to figure out the best way to live my life as best and productively as possible, yet still being sensible enough to make sure I'm not making myself any worse than I need to be.
Lastly, God is big enough to not be confined to a building and so if he has something he needs to say to me, he can speak to me right here in my bedroom at home. I don't exactly have to be in church, with the right song, the right person praying for me and feeling holier than thou to receive from God. We just need to open our mouths. Seriously, just start talking to him and you'll be amazed at what happenes next! He understands that my body needs a rest sometimes and that I won't be able to make it to church every single Sunday without failure. This is why I'm thankful for his grace that allows me to do this.
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