24-06-13

Monday, June 24, 2013

Lately I've been asked by a lot of people, married, single or otherwise about my relationship status. Those that know me well will not need to read my explanation here, but for anyone who cares, I am very single and that will not change anytime soon. Why's that? Well, I came to a conclusion around this time last year that it's pretty bloody obvious that I just live in the friend-zone and I need to come to a place where I accept that and move on with my life. I would like to think I've done that over the past year. My care factor for the whole relationship scene has never been lower than it is right now. Also, I really don't know many happy people in relationships, so that doesn't exactly inspire me to find my princess. Aside from those awesome ones where the people are married for 10+ years with children and really are living happy, fruitful lives, I don't see anyone truly happy. People like that make me think maybe it is worth it, but then I remember that I'd have to put my heart out there again and that I'd have to deal with mental and emotional issues and games and it all just looks too hard, especially at the moment. I don't have the energy to deal with those issues right now, especially considering the medical and physical issues I've already been through during the first half of this year.

It feels like that every time a female friend of mine gets into a relationship, I turn invisible, although there is one exception to this and she knows who she is. Seriously, ít's immature, stupid and makes me feel like I don't count in your life. Well, if that's how it's going to be, fine. I don't chase people who don't care for me. Also, I don't want to become one of those snobs who don't have time for their friends simply because they now have a partner. Seriously, punch me in the face if I ever become like that!

I'm not completely ruling out ever finding a decent woman who hasn't friendzoned me, but I am saying it won't be this year and she is going to have to be all kinds of amazing because I don't fall easily anymore. Over this next season, I'm just going to be content to keep going the way I have done over the past year, with my relationship with God, my family and closest friends, about half of whom are female anyway.

It's not that my self-image is low or anything. I know I'm a decent enough person who is not a moron at all, but I simply don't have the emotional energy anymore. To sum it all up: it's their loss.