04-06-13

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Today I must admit has been very draining on me, both physically and emotionally. As I write this, all I want to do is lie down and put today behind me. I wasn't even going to write a blog tonight, but I remembered I am trying to be more consistent and disciplined and doing things like this, even when I don't feel like it, is just one of those things. So, I press on and am doing it.

My day was draining because I didn't get a good sleep for a start and then I had an appointment this morning at occupational therapy. It was just at really bad timing because I had to leave right on morning tea time, so I was just about to get my coffee but couldn't because I had to go. However, the lining was definitely silver in this situation because after I went to O.T. so that Sandy, my O.T. could assess how well I am doing with my chair-to-chair and chair-to-bed transfers, she made me a coffee and she made it nice and strong too, so that made up for it. Oh, she passed me on my transfers, by the way. This means I can officially get out of bed and into my chair for myself and don't need a nurse to assist me. For the last few weeks that I've been getting out of bed, they have been using a hoist because apparently it's policy to hoist patients until they are medically cleared to transfer, even if they have been doing it for their entire lives. It's frustrating when you are told you are not allowed to do something when you know you definitely have the capabilities to do it, but it's relieving when you're told you can do it again.

I've also been passed on moving around in bed. You see, for the past five months that I have been in hospital, I have had people come in every two hours to help me turn over. Again, it's one of those things I know I am capable of doing when I am healthy, but because of the nature of the bone infection, it's best to get assistance until I am getting better and I guess this means I'm well on the way. Hopefully this means tonight I will sleep better as I shouldn't have anyone coming in at all tonight.

On Thursday I will be practicing car transfers and that will also help decide on exactly what type of new wheelchair I need to get. It's hard to explain but there are heaps of different chairs out there now that fold in all sorts of different ways and come with different aids to help you get them into your car. Seeing as I am looking at getting my license and a car, it is something I now need to think about when designing my chair.

After lunch, I was chilling out in my spot near the gum tree I like and I just happened to make eye contact with my physio and he told me he expects me in tomorrow. He was disappointed I didn't go in today, but once I told him I had to go to OT, it was all fine.

I got up for dinner the second time I was up today and it felt like at that time someone must have put a secret tattoo on my forehead saying, "Complain to this man about your issues." Seriously, for the next hour, I swear everyone who I saw was complaining to me about one thing or another. Even though it was getting dark, I went outside just because I was getting annoyed hearing all the negative drama. It's true that other people's attitudes do become contagious and they have the power to drain you or energize you. Don't be a drain!

This evening I was rather impressed with another staff member. As I was last night with Zoe, tonight it was Michelle. She, like Zoe, unexpectedly went above and beyond the job description and did it with a smile and not a single word of complaint. I didn't even need anything at all from her at the time, but she was due to leave at around 8:00 as that was when her shift ended. I hear a knock on my door and said to come in, having no idea who it was. It was Michelle and she had a sandwich, some biscuits and a coffee and said she just had to make me something herself before she left for the night. If there wasn't a stupid rule about it being unprofessional to hug staff, I would have given her a decent hug for that. I didn't even ask for it but she did it just because she is a really decent person.

I must admit that, as I said at the top about how I actually don't feel like doing this right now, my mood has dipped a bit the past couple of hours. I don't know exactly what triggered it, but when I'm tired it doesn't take much, but I am really missing being home right now. I miss my mum, sisters, closest friends and just the familiarity that normal life has to offer. It's tough because I haven't seen many of those people I love most for a while, but knowing I don't have too long left is good. Well I'm off to get some decent sleep because I'm sure to be smashed around in physio tomorrow.